kimjohansson: Farewell
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nbaoffseason: fuckyeanba: There are a lot of things you could write about DeShawn Stevenson’s “swag” before dinner (e.g. his outfit: I’d go with A Clockwork Orange droogs reference, but only because I caught a republished Burgess piece* in the New Yorker today), but the one that jumped out at me the second time I looked at it, was the automated teller machine in the background. Who keeps an ATM in their apartment? DeShawn Stevenson, that’s who. Here are some questions I have for Mr. Stevenson Does he have to pay a feed when he uses it? Or does he just unlock it and take some cash? When his friends use it, do they have to pay a fee? Where did he purchase the ATM? Is there any legal wrangling involved in having in your own personal ATM? Was he inspired by Anthony Anderson in Barbershop? I’d guess stocking an ATM fee would be expensive, and I’m not sure DeShawn Stevenson can afford it. He did lose that bet to Hibachi. [h/t @PlyerPerspective via @Jose3030] *Hopefully we can overlook how snobby this mention appears In true DeShawn Stevenson fashion, he’s got recycled shipping boxes next to the ATM. I mean, c’mon, son! And —AND!— fill up your damn sweet tea jug! Nothing says fake swag quite like not having any sweet tea in the house.
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